Actor George Lopez claims that director Garry Marshall doesn’t make a movie, he throws a party.

In the case of “Valentine’s Day,” maybe they should have partied a bit less.

Marshall, the creative mind behind hit TV series like “Happy Days” and movies like “Pretty Woman,” was undoubtedly having a ball while making his latest flick. He surrounded himself with an impressive ensemble of family and friends.

But apparently the cast was having a much better time on the set of this romantic comedy than the audience will have watching it.

“Valentine’s Day” is utterly superficial, clichéd and banal. Still, it has one thing going for it that prevents it from being a complete waste of time. Marshall has marshaled a very likable ensemble that nearly overcomes the frustratingly trite script.

The all-star cast includes Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, Hector Elizondo, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Taylor Lautner, Lopez, Shirely MacLaine, Emma Roberts, Julia Roberts and Taylor Swift.

The screenplay by Katherine Fugate (TV’s “Army Wives”) is a patchwork of individual, intersecting plot threads that are supposed to weave into a single tapestry. The overall effect, however, more closely resembles ungainly remnants.

The action takes place in LA during the roughly 24-hour period around the fabled romantic holiday. The characters include a wide range of ‘types’ whose lives touch one another in some way.

We spend so little time with each character that we never really have the opportunity to care about what happens to them. The overall effect is a bit like watching a series of unrelated holiday commercials on the Hallmark Channel.

For those of you who may be thinking of this PG-13 offering as a family outing, there are a few things to consider.

One of the more uncomfortable plotlines involves teenager Emma Roberts. She and her callow boyfriend have decided to lose their virginity together, but some supposedly humorous timing complications throw off their plans.

Her admission causes her grandma and grandpa (MacLaine and Elizondo) to confront an infidelity issue from years earlier in their relationship.

Hathaway’s character is a phone sex operator who puts her life on hold whenever she receives a call from a “john.”

If you insist on seeing “Valentine’s Day,” be sure to stay through the credits. The outtakes are funnier and more authentic than anything that comes earlier in this shallow big screen sitcom.

(PG-13) Rating: *1/2

* Avoid at all costs
** Only if you're bored
*** Good movie
**** Well worth your time
***** Be sure to see it