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Metro Op-Ed / Patricio Lazen
Published 10/31/2008 - 6:53 p.m. CDT

By Patricio Hernan Lazen

On this November 4th ballot, Missourians will be asked to choose Yes or No on Amendment 1. This amendment which is sponsored by State Rep. Brian Nieves (R), states that English shall be the language of all official proceedings in this state.

Published 09/26/2008 - 8:15 a.m. CDT

By Patricio H. Lazen

For more than 20 years, you have been in the company of a one-thousand-pound bull and a one-thousand-pound bear. They’ve been literally unnoticeable until a few days ago, when they revealed their presence with relentless fury. But don’t worry! Help is on the way; for a mere $700 billon, a specialized company, Capitol Hill Animal Control Inc., will attempt to remove them, no questions asked… and no guarantee of success either.

Rumor has it that this incident is tied to a massive break out from a dangerous beasts’ sanctuary, a long, long time ago. Back when Kool & The Gang used to sing “Celebration” and an actor from California went around knocking down walls and regulations.