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Considering Which Side of the Bed to Sleep On

I listen to radio talks show hosts fairly frequently.  Granted, most of them are right wing and controversial, but with the left wing controlling cable news shows that I watch, it seems like a good balance.  Both sides feel they corner the market on self-righteousness.  The right wing has family values, the left wing has save-the-earth values.  Let me put this as plainly as possible: both sides have turned to crap.

The reason I bring this up is that listening to these two factions of American politics, or at least what is fed to us through the information streams readily available, dampens my sex drive.  I wouldn’t want to bang any of them.  I honestly don’t see how they get laid at all…unless they are completely different between the sheets.  If that’s true, then here’s what I’m going to assume: Anyone who is rabidly right wing is buying hookers regularly and snorts cocaine.  Anyone who is left wing is impotent because he smokes too much weed.  What do I base these conclusions on?  Nothing!  I’m just creating a point of view based on how crappy the media makes people feel about politics.

Guess what?  We’re all American!  I love the rest of the world, too, but I really love America.  I have had sex in the humid, damp woods of the South, made out with hot-blooded hedonists in the frigid North, and fallen off the edge of the bed on both coasts.  I love it, love it, LOVE it!  I want all its residents to love it, too, and it seems that no one thinks America is good enough at the moment.

I realize that our country has become polarized because of hardship.  Each side needs to blame the other for the fear that is generated by…oh, let’s say…both sides of the media mountain.  Understandable.  But where are the reasonable people?  My views are so different from what I see and hear in the media that I feel like I’m on an island with no vibrator. 

Some thoughts:  Maybe abortion should continue to be legal, but only in the first trimester unless the mother is in danger.  The founding gurus separated church and state for a reason.  If one is really concerned about global warming, one should have the balls to take anti-pollution mission trips to other countries and convert them to Global Warmingism.  Besides, one good volcano will cure all that devil warmth with a little ice age action.  War is a necessary evil since we don’t live in a bubble.  Globalization is great, but do we have to give away the farm? 

Yeah, Americans are materialistic and suffering because we are not accustomed to having to scrimp in this crazy economy, but most of us aren’t starving.  In fact, we’re still having to deal with weight issues.  We actually spend money on learning how to eat less.  Are people in starving countries laughing their asses off, or what?  Who cares.  Well they can just keep laughing.  The fact is, we’d all act the same way if we traded places with anyone else in the world, and they with us.  Circumstances are the way they are and we just have to keep moving and learn how to fix the problems as best we can.

I love America.  Let me repeat:  I love America.  I love loving in America.  I want to work together with people to solve out problems.  I also want to have great sex and not have to worry all the time about who’s flying the damn plane. 

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