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Having Dinner With The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
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The interior of the largest Whole Foods in the United States, located on Houston Street in the East Village of New York City.
Credit:  David Shankbone, Wikimedia Commons

Oh great, now I have to start spending more at the grocery.

My compassionate liberal friends have apparently picked up the stirring spoon without first reaching for their oven mitts.

Ouch, that must’ve hurt!

How dare Whole Foods’ CEO and progressive healthy foods retailer John Mackey pen his conservative health care opinions in the Wall Street Journal!

Simply outrageous! And, certainly now, they know for a fact that the world will only be a better place if they find someplace else in town to buy their bok choi.

Harummmph. Take that you, you money maker.

Yes, the Journal’s op ed from Mackey last week has certainly turned up the flames in nouvelle cuisine kitchens and on liberal blogs across America inciting a revolt of sorts against “spending a dime ever again” at Whole Foods.

A dime?

When was the last time anyone spent a dime at Whole Foods? Our last trip there rewarded us with four tiny vials of Saffron threads for a staggering $17.99. A whole complete one hundredth of an ounce of the stuff….one of the hazards, I suppose, of downloading recipes off the web.

Please, nobody tell my conservative Mother that I willingly spent $18 for threads albeit ALL natural, MSG & salt free, non-irradiated and, of course, sans preservatives brought exclusively to us all the way from San Francisco by none other than those evil doers at Whole Foods.

Yes, the supposedly healthiest shoppers across America are using the wholefoods.com public Forum to vent their outrage at eight health care reform ideas that obviously conflict with their Supreme Leader’s plan; but one must wonder, since rarely do any of the eight ideas get mentioned at the Forum, if any one of them has bothered to read the Mackey editorial. Or, has anyone had a complete look at the Whole Foods website and considered if maybe Whole Foods is still the kind of company we are still happy or least (considering the prices) willing to support.

A company whose core values, history and practice cover taking care of things like communities, the planet, ourselves…that’s all pretty good stuff.

But, then Mackey did also have the nerve to point out that “70% of all health-care spending—heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes and obesity—are mostly preventable through proper diet, exercise, not smoking, minimal alcohol consumption and other healthy lifestyle choices.”

Even the temerity to continue on to tell us that 2/3rds of Americans are overweight and a whopping, sorry, 1/3 rank as obese. Really, he thinks, Americans ought to be focused on building their own health and learning to take better care of themselves.

Isn’t that called self-responsibility?

Uggggh.

Now it feels like we’re going to bump shopping carts in the next aisle with Phyllis Schlafly.

But, then what about those very non-conservative employee salary caps?

Put this snippet from the Whole Foods website onto your conservative friends’ dinner plates tonight:

“We recognize there is a community of interest among all of our stakeholders. There are no entitlements; we share together in our collective fate. To that end we have a salary cap that limits the compensation (wages plus profit incentive bonuses) of any Team Member to nineteen times the average total compensation of all full-time Team Members in the company.”

Yes, that’s Sen. Chris Dodd we’ve just found in aisle 4 ogling the 39 Mediterranean olive varieties but I’m not going to let that stop me from filling up my shopping cart with organic things that I am sometimes shy about trying to pronounce.

Because I think I like this place, this company and almost everything that it stands for.

Whole person. Whole foods. Whole planet. Whole lotta love.

There’s probably even space tonight to mix up a few of those olives with some rather potent martinis.

Sorry John, we can’t all agree on everything.

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Added: August 22, 2009. 07:20 AM CDT
Mackey needs a reality check
Mr. Mackey's millions have clouded his view of the real world. His suggestion to cover the uninsured with voluntary donations show how ridiculous his arguments are. There is a related post at https://www.iamsoannoyed.com/?page_id=588
Anonymous
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